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Oh To Be That Free

by Michaela Anne

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1.
It feels good to not think of anybody else not even you A do what I want when I want point of view Finally doing the things that I should do It feels nice to not have to ask permission when I wanna hide When I want to run to someone else I don’t even try I won’t even look when he walks by I’m selfish and unstable, I’m emotional and wild and I’m hateful I’m jaded when I’m losing, I never know what the hell I’m doing I’m only human I told you this I told you all these things and you still wanted it Somehow you act surprised at who you’re lying with And now you blame me cause you tried it I’m selfish and unstable, I’m emotional and wild and I’m hateful I’m jaded when I’m losing, I never know what the hell I’m doing I’m only human
2.
Trees 03:48
I wonder if the trees ever feel uneasy when winter comes and they stand tall but bare Do they sit and fret and fray worried that the day won’t come when spring arrives and blossoms reach for air Or do they trust in the season never asking for the reason why life and death go hand in hand each day Do they know how to grow never asking to be told how well they’re doing and what purpose they display Hidden underneath are where the roots connect the trees Uncertainty and grief entwine with hope and peace It’s the silent sound of love’s determined beat It’s the silent sound love’s beat Do they already know that their neighbors are their home tied together here on earth and cosmically That individuals don’t ever carry on alone no matter how you try to run from your own need Or do they fight against each other Try to isolate the other Holding onto fear’s false belief Or do they hear it in the wind The way their leaves are rustling touched the same as all the other living things Hidden underneath are where the roots connect the trees Uncertainty and grief entwine with hope and peace It’s the silent sound of love’s determined beat It’s the silent sound love’s beat
3.
Chasing Days 04:08
Standing at the doorway of a brand new scene Being on the outside is nothing new to me But I’m still always waiting for someone to invite me in Wishing my way into a sense of false belonging Been on the run since I was a baby girl For better or worse it's taught me how to navigate this world Changing who i am whenever somebody tells me to Cause fitting is how I thought you knew they loved you I’m at the end of my rope Climbing past the point of holding out hope I’m at the end of the road of being on the run My chasing days are done Daddy was a sailor and moved us port to port Mama did her best to make each home feel warm We watched her dreams fade with each setting sun living just for us A woman like that teaches you how to trust in love I’m at the end of my rope Climbing past the point of holding out hope I’m at the end of the road of being on the run My chasing days are done Somewhere along the way I learned about joy and pain That a little bit of kindness goes a long way Standing on your own can be such a lonely place But feeling whole and home shouldn’t be an endless race
4.
Who You Are 03:51
I’ve been looking at the stars these nights wondering if you are too Those lonesome little lights shining on me and you Spinning round the sun so fast I can hardly keep my place Looking down worrying that I’m coming off the wrong way It’s hard to look at you and not see my own face How to love for love’s own sake and not for my own gain I want to see you I want to know in the end Who you are baby who you are my friend I want to know you when you’re standing on your own Everything that you do you gotta know how to do it alone Like how to pick up the pieces when it all comes crashing down How to keep your head held high but keep it out of the clouds It’s hard to look at you and not see my own face How to love for love’s own sake and not for my own gain I want to see you I want to know in the end Who you are baby who you are my friend
5.
Barefoot running through the green pastures smiling at her mom and dad Sun kissed skin, no t-shirt grass stains covering her legs Mama’s looking on at her grandbaby It’s a summertime cookout Gazing at the one named for wild things Family’s all around Oh to be that free again Oh to be that free Never looking back never looking on It’s the only way to be free Climbing up fence posts running under cows not fearing what could be there Pulling up weeds to fill bouquets Wrapped in twine to share Sugar maples standing tall in the grove Cedar trees lend their shade Calls from the porch for Tiger Rose Through the woods she hears her name Oh to be that free again Oh to be that free Never looking back never looking on It’s the only way to be free Stars come out with the fireflies Cool breeze chills the air Freshly bathed under full moonlight Fire burns downstairs Oh to be that free again Oh to be that free Never looking back never looking on It’s the only way to be free
6.
Good People 04:19
You needed somewhere safe to run to Someone to love someone to hold you I heard you say it it was too late to change all of the damage that two damaged hearts do I needed to act and not to promise And to feel the rush of being dishonest You told me I could change it I could fix it or break it Does it make me weak if I can’t take it? What was done to me What was done to you I want to think good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt people too Unraveling before I noticed the parts of me that were lost or stolen Can I be a person that’s okay with this? Can I be a person I’m okay with? What was done to me What was done to you I want to think good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt people too Cause forgiving you means forgiving me And that’s the hardest thing to do What was done to me What was done to you I want to think good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt good people hurt people too
7.
I see you working so hard to show everyone that you’re happy You show just enough to be what they wanna see You think that you can dress it up enough and make it so pretty You can keep smiling through your lying teeth You can’t shovel all your dirt on me No you can’t hide all of your hurt in me I won’t ever tell your dirty secrets It’s enough to know that you know I know I won’t ever tell your darkest pieces It’s enough to know that you know I know Does the truth keep you awake at night while you’re lying beside her killing every promise on the bed she makes If you could bury me alive you might get your hands too dirty so you hold your breath and count all your mistakes But you can’t shovel all your dirt on me No you can’t hide all of your hurt in me I won't ever tell your dirty secrets It’s enough to know that you know I know I won’t ever tell your darkest pieces It’s enough to know that you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know You’re so good at hiding how you’re mean No but you can’t help but be yourself with me I won't ever tell your dirty secrets It’s enough to know that you know I know I won’t ever tell your darkest pieces It’s enough to know that you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know I know you know I know
8.
You got a table on the patio Against my better judgement I agreed to go You ordered wine as if you still know what I want and need but it’s still your show I didn’t want to see you again Apparently time is only weakening Resisting my own curiosity to hear what you feel you need to say to me You say Does it ever break your heart to think how we hurt each other without empathy I don’t know how this is gonna go I just know that I don’t want to be alone I stay silent there across from you I can tell that you believe your words to be true You try to hold my gaze like you used to But I can see you don’t see me you see only you You try Does it ever break your heart to think how we hurt each other without empathy I don’t know how this is gonna go I just know that I don’t want to be alone You never want to be alone You’re so used to getting what you want It doesn’t matter what you say now I’ve learned a lot Like how to listen to your earnest claims But not believe a single word you ever say I say Yes it always breaks my heart to think How we hurt each other without empathy I know how this time it’s gonna go This time I will leave you alone
9.
When we got lost on that long drive home I weighed the cost of going it alone I should’ve known which way to go But how can you know? When there’s no sign no guiding light No dotted lines keeping you right Right where you wanna be But where do you want to be? If only you know what was in front of you Would you do the things you wanted to Would you contemplate the back and forth and how you’re always wanting more than what’s right in front of you If only you knew When I gave up and you came around To be the one that was steady and sound I should’ve known but I couldn’t see How could I see? If only you know what was in front of you Would you do the things you wanted to Would you contemplate the back and forth and how you’re always wanting more than what’s right in front of you If only you knew Would you drink away the evenings and let the days hang on? Would you hide away your feelings until they are gone? If only you know what was in front of you Would you do the things you wanted to Would you contemplate the back and forth and how you’re always wanting more than what’s right in front of you If only you knew
10.
Mountains and mesas Canyons and fires Full moons like the sunrise Making love under stars Where you go I’ll go As the worlds burning down It’s your love I know As the only way out Ponderosas and Doug firs blowing harsh in the wind Smoke filled horizons threatening our visions Where you go I’ll go As the worlds burning down It’s your love I know As the only way out Snowfall in september Rain drowning our eyes Holding on to remember these dreams that once were our lives Where you go I’ll go As the worlds burning down It’s your love I know As the only way out
11.
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me convincing of such awful things Like I’m alone, unlovable and lost Losing grip on reality Isolated fantasies convincing me they’re real at my own cost I try to remember I have been this place before But like a fire I can fan the flames or choose to block the door It’s just a feeling It’s just a thought You don’t have to believe them Even when they’re posing as your heart It can take you under Keep you spinning your wheels But it’s just a feeling it’s not how you’ll always feel You’d think that I’d find confidence the way I grip my consciousness filling it it with fables and false truths Stories that I weave myself limiting my higher health keeping me from what i could do If I could see the power in my own hands I could feed it with more positive demands It’s just a feeling It’s just a thought You don’t have to believe them Even when they’re posing as your heart It can take you under Keep you spinning your wheels But it’s just a feeling it’s not how you’ll always feel

about

“If only you knew what was in front of you / Would you do the things you wanted to?” Michaela Anne was on a beach in Morocco when those lines came to her, the exact moment of inspiration captured indelibly in a photograph that now graces the cover of her gorgeous and aching new album, Oh To Be That Free. At the time, Michaela had no way of knowing what lay ahead—sobriety, pregnancy, a global pandemic, the hemorrhagic stroke that would nearly kill her mother—but listening back in the warm glow of hindsight, it’s clear that the future was already weighing heavily on her mind.

“It’s kind of surreal the way this record turned out to be exactly what I needed to hear when I was at my lowest,” she reflects. "These songs became healers, almost as if I’d written them as letters to my future self.”

Indeed, there’s something deeply prescient about Oh To Be That Free, Michaela’s second album for Yep Roc Records. Written before her life began to unravel—before all of our lives entered the strange state of suspended animation that still lingers for so many—the collection is lush and cinematic, full of honest, insightful meditations on embracing the present and nourishing one’s roots that couldn’t have arrived at a more vital and necessary moment. The songs are profoundly vulnerable, hinting at everything from Brandi Carlile to Kacey Musgraves as they reckon with the flaws and faults that keep us up at night, but Michaela’s delivery is tender and empathetic, insisting that we’re worthy of love not in spite of our shortcomings, but because of them. As humans, we’re inherently imperfect, prone at times to jealousy and envy and greed and selfishness, but we’re also impossibly beautiful, resilient creatures capable of growth and change and trust and forgiveness. And so the freedom Michaela sings of here isn’t the wild freedom of youth or rebellion, but rather the spiritual freedom that comes from learning to accept what is rather than what ought to be, from learning to appreciate what you have rather than what you want, from learning to look in the mirror and love the person staring back.

credits

released June 10, 2022

Produced by Aaron Shafer-Haiss & Michaela Anne
Engineered by Aaron Shafer-Haiss
Assistant engineering by Michaela Anne
Additional engineering by Jeff Malinowski, Philip Sterk, Burniss Earl Travis
Mixed by Shani Gandhi
Mastered by Alan Silverman
All strings arranged and performed by Kristin Weber


2022, Yep Roc Records

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Michaela Anne Nashville, Tennessee

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